|June 06, 2012||Teabagger Anatomy||no comments|
Caucasian: The typical tea bagger is white and over the age of 55. Is it surprising that this demographic would have any problem with a black president.
Sig Sauer P228: The tea bagger has a permit to always carry his gun. This is a special gun because it’s the same one his TV hero Jack Bauer uses.
Right Wing Radio: The tea bagger receives most of his inspiration from the white man’s everyday heroes, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
Creativity: The tea bagger has been known to be clever with his sign making. Unfortunately his signs are often misspelled or unintentionally ironic.
Solidarity: Though this modern tea party has little or nothing to do with the original, wearing tea bags on or around their foreheads gives them a sense of belonging and of brotherly comradery.
Blow Hard: This is the tea baggers most effective weapon. This weapon has been known to yell racial and homophobic epithets at people who disagree with their ideology.
Religion: The tea bagger not only clung to his gun when the “Kenyan” president stole power, but also to the righteous indignation of his purpose-driven Evangelical religion.
Liberty: The tea bagger is typically conservative with libertarian ideals. The irony of this is that most receive a government social security check every month, due to the fact that 46% of the movement are 55 and older.
F A U X News: Although most of the tea baggers information comes from talk radio, the tea bagger always finds time for fair and balanced reporting coming from the blow hard conservative pundits at Fox News.
Patriot: The tea bagger is the best kind of American there is, because every article of flag clothing and memorabilia he owns comes from Wal-Mart and was made in China.