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Safety Tips for Ladies
Apr 01, 2013
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- Most rapes happen above ground. Build a sprawling underground lair and adapt to a life without sun.
- Don't walk home alone when it's dark. Even a little dark. Or might be dark. Don't walk home. Or walk. Levitate.
- If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way.
- Disguise yourself as a tumbleweed when travelling. You will confuse rapists into thinking no one's around.
- Rapists love pony tails. Surround yourself with ponys and the rapists will be too confused to attack.
- If you're raped, say "I'm a good girl!" Since "good girls" never get raped, the rapist will vanish in a puff of logic.
- Most rapes happen inside or outside. Avoid these places.
- 1 in 4 women will experience sexual assault in her lifetime, so be one of those other three women.