A Tea Party Constitution: Blueprint for a Dominionist Corporate State
Jun 12, 2012
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THE SITUATION: What might the Constitution look like if it were written today by Tea Party Republicans and their allies?
THE PROVOCATION: Ready to be alarmed? Here's one possibility of what such a document might include, based on a the stated goals and priorities of the radical right:
We the Trustees of the Executive Board, in Order to provide for the common defence of our oil, banking, military and related investments, do hereby ordain and establish this Holy Constitution for the Corporate Christian States of America.
The right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not, under any circumstances, be infringed. This right shall extend to, but not be limited to, automatic and semi-automatic weapons, grenades, flame-throwers, personal rocket launchers, Molotov cocktails, armored assault vehicles and thermonuclear warheads.
The rights of Corporations and their duly appointed Executives shall in all cases supersede the rights of any individual, up to and including the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Voting rights shall be restricted to males of Caucasian descent. Voter identification shall be required at all polling places to ensure that this process is conducted in accordance with the law.
Marriage shall be between a white male and a white female only. No exceptions to his restriction shall be made. All marriages must be recognized by the Corporate State and performed by an anointed representative of a State-sanctioned Church.
Same-sex relationships shall be considered unlawful in all cases and punishable by confinement in fenced camps designated specifically for this purpose.
No minimum wage shall be established. Neither shall any business be required to set minimum age requirements for employment.
No standards shall be imposed upon any business concerning worker safety or family leave. The length of the work day and work week shall be decided solely at the discretion of the employer.
English shall be the official language of the land. No discourse, public or private, shall be conducted in any language other than English. In addition, no written materials may be produced or disseminated in any language other than English. No such documents shall be considered legally enforceable contracts or agreements, but will be considered contraband and subject to seizure by the State.
The status of citizenship shall be conferred only upon individuals born on domestic soil to parents in good standing with the Corporate State. "In good standing" shall be interpreted to mean not guilty of any criminal conduct for the extent of their natural lives and free of debt to any governmental or private business institution. Both parents of any newborn child must be baptized into the Christian faith in order for citizenship to be conferred upon their progeny. The right of citizenship shall be denied to all others failing to meet these criteria, regardless of ethnic background or heritage. No petition or grievance shall be honored.
All contraceptive drugs and devices are considered illegal and subject to seizure by the State.
The following subjects shall not be taught or discussed in school: evolution, sexuality, climate fluctuations, fossil records or any information falsely attributed to science that stands at odds with Holy Scripture as interpreted by the Church and her anointed ministers.
Women shall be denied any position of authority, either within the Church or her sister Government, in accordance with the Scripture.
The Ten Commandments shall be posted in all official Governmental buildings, and the Lord's Prayer recited, along with the Pledge of Allegiance, at all public gatherings.
The right of children to pray in public schools shall not be infringed, and the duty of all instructors to lead their classes in prayer shall not be forsworn.
The official religion of the state is Christianity, and no law shall be passed that in any way contravenes the literal interpretation of the sacred Old and New Testaments.
Members of the judicial branch shall be appointed by the Church.
All recognized Churches and affiliated institutions shall be exempt from taxation and excused from criminal or civil liability.
All citizens are required to pay one-tenth of their gross income to a Church recognized by the Government as a valid executor of the Christian faith.
All property entrusted to the individual is held at the pleasure of the Corporate State and its Executives. Any such property may be seized and reallocated without recompense to the individual at the sole discretion of the State.
Health costs are the sole responsibility of the individual, for which neither the State nor the Church nor any private business may be held liable under any condition.
The rights of individuals to invoke their Christian faith as justification for decisions of conscience may not be infringed, except in such cases where they may conflict with the rights of the Corporate State, the Church or private business, as defined by those entities. These protections do not extend to adherents of any unrecognized, heathen faith, nor may they be claimed by individuals of no faith.
No recreational activities may be undertaken on the Sabbath, which shall be recognized as Sunday, with exceptions being made in the case of National Football League games and NASCAR stock car races.
Parents shall be held accountable for the deeds of their children up to the age of 18 years.
Parents shall be allowed free rein in disciplining their children and may, at their discretion, inflict mild, moderate or severe corporal punishment in response to disobedience.
All candidates for public office will be drawn from the Republican Party and shall be placed in nomination by the Executive Board for ratification by the electorate.
The formation of labor unions or quasi-union organizations is expressly forbidden under this Constitution. Membership in such organizations shall be considered grounds for immediate termination and prosecution.
Annual budgets must be balanced as to revenue and expenditures, with the exception of the military budget, which may be augmented as needed to provide for sufficient defense against enemies both foreign and domestic.
The foregoing codes and precepts are to be considered the Supreme Law of the land and may not be abridged for any reason without the express written consent of the governing Corporate board. Violations of these codes and precepts will be punishable by fines, imprisonment, State-sanctioned persecution and exile, and in the most severe cases may be considered forms of treason, the penalty for which is death.
Adopted by the Corporate Congress on this day ... ______________________________________
Editor's note: Let's hope this day never comes