We began to share pieces of our history and I get a call from the school about a sick child. I explain after three other phone calls to arrange for her pickup that things have been a little more of a creative challenge in caring for my three children since their dad passed away.
Naturally, the day that I am out of town, one of them begins to run fever. (Murphy’s Law, I’m sure.) The gentleman begins to question me about my husband’s death and asks if I had anger at God for taking him.
I had to explain to him about my belief system. He said he had lost his leg in an accident, which explained the limp, and that he had finally come to a period of grace about it. Not peace, but grace in having lost his limb.
I told him about Jeremiah 29:11 and the fact that God knows the plans He has for each of us to prosper, and not be harmed, but therein lies the rub. We must follow His commands and His guidelines for our lives in order to prosper and not be harmed.
There is a codicil to that “not be harmed” aspect. When Christ came to earth, we all expected a king. Our earthly knowledge of what a king would be, that is. We did not really recognize Him for who He was lying there in that manger.
Our view of “not be harmed” is different than His. If I believe in the inerrant goodness of God, then I cannot begrudge any actions He takes in or around me. Yes, I miss my husband. Yes, I get lonely. Yes, it can be trying and difficult to manage life without him, but I have Him - Christ - to help me each and every day, moment by moment.
I praise God for putting Chris in my life and I am sorry he is no longer here, but God knows what He is doing! Even with free will thrown into the mix, we are ultimately where God has us to be for whatever He wants.
A song lyric - “I will see what I would have been if You didn’t save me.” Scary thought, eh?
“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)
Send the eagles, God, I’m resting and waiting on You!