directory
New Entrant to the Race
by LiberatedWoman
Jan 04, 2012 | 458 views | 3 3 comments | 60 60 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
After the Republican caucus in Iowa, Michele Bachmann decided to stand aside and leave the presidential race.  However, a new candidate emerged to join the race in New Hampshire.  The following article was released after the caucus.

Dear Voters of New Hampshire:

In December I became Supreme Leader of North Korea.  Pretty amazing development for a twentysomething who at the time was still living at home and spending all day playing Angry Birds.  But there I was, receiving the cheers of millions of North Koreans, who usually don’t get that excited unless they’ve caught sight of a pork sandwich. (LOL)

Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates.  And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the [expletive deleted] out of me.

This is just one of many differences between your country and mine. In North Korea, we lock up the criminally insane. In America, you let them debate on TV. Right now you have people running for President I would not trust to take care of my plants.

So who do I recommend you vote for on Tuesday? In a word, me.

If you think about it, I am the most Republican candidate of all. In North Korea, we have no taxes. We have achieved that through a conservative policy of no jobs. Also, we have no wasteful “big government” programs providing food, shelter, or safe drinking water. And am I pro-life? Well, try this on for size: I believe that life begins at conception and ends at starvation.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: I’m too young to be President, since I’m under 35. Well, who would you rather have running your country, someone who’s under 35, or someone whose IQ is under 35? (LOL)

I think when you look at all the facts, voters of New Hampshire, you’ll realize that Kim Jong-un is the Republican who most deserves your vote. And if you’re still not convinced, remember this: at least I’m not Mitt Romney.

Peace out yo,

Your Supreme Leader

Kim Jong-Un

Credits to The Borowitz Report for the original article.

Comments
(3)
Comments-icon Post a Comment
DifferentView2
|
January 04, 2012
There isn't much information that comes out of North Korea, but the rumors are that Kim Jong-Un brews a good pot of tea.