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Safety Tips for Ladies
by DifferentView2
 Safety Tips for Ladies
Apr 01, 2013 | 1455 views | 5 5 comments | 17 17 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
  • Most rapes happen above ground. Build a sprawling underground lair and adapt to a life without sun.
  • Don't walk home alone when it's dark. Even a little dark. Or might be dark. Don't walk home. Or walk. Levitate.
  • If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way.
  • Disguise yourself as a tumbleweed when travelling. You will confuse rapists into thinking no one's around.
  • Rapists love pony tails. Surround yourself with ponys and the rapists will be too confused to attack.
  • If you're raped, say "I'm a good girl!" Since "good girls" never get raped, the rapist will vanish in a puff of logic.
  • Most rapes happen inside or outside. Avoid these places.
  • 1 in 4 women will experience sexual assault in her lifetime, so be one of those other three women.

#safetytipsforladies

Comments
(5)
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feelark
|
April 02, 2013
Mr. LaPew of the NRA applauds your decision, Dubious. HAHAHHAHA!
DifferentView2
|
April 02, 2013
No, I'll just need better aim. LOL!
DubiousForever
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April 01, 2013
Your gonna need a smaller gun...LOL!
DifferentView2
|
April 01, 2013
Do you mean the guy in this video?

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0433b30576/cold-dead-hand-with-jim-carrey
DubiousForever
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April 01, 2013
Form a national lobby to petition congress to make it legal for all women to carry a concealed gun and have the right to blow the genetalia off of any presumed rapist with no legal implications. The NRA should be on board....