There is no reason for me to believe that any of you humans really, I mean really know how to accurately translate Kat to Kat communications.
In order to make my world and yours a much better place, I am going to share with all of ya’ll some actual conversations Kat to Kat, in Kat talk.
Let’s set the scene for the Kat to Kat conversation that I will translate.
It was early one morning when I was just a baby-kat that I began to understand the conversation that 2 Kats were having. One Kat was my Momma, I know this because she looked just like me. The other Kat may have been my Dad, but rumor has it that there are other possibilities.
The conversation went like this:
Momma Kat: MEOW meowwwww MEOW.
(translation) HELLO and I mean HELLO for Real (not a good hello but the other kind of hello, like she really didn’t want him around.)
Other Kat: meow, meow, meow, meow.
(translation) Hey girl it’s just me and all I want to do is visit a while before the world wakes up and all of the humans start interrupting our quiet space.
Momma Kat: MEOW MEOW MEOW Meowwwwwww!
(translation) It’s no wonder you almost were eaten by that rogue possum last night, you are too much into yourself to really listen to a girl who wants to be left alone with her 35 baby-kats and BTW none of which look anything like you!
Other Kat: Meow, meow. Mememememeowww. .
(translation) Not so fast there beautiful. That big fat possum never had a chance given my incredible prowess for avoiding confrontation. And if he had caught me, too bad too sad for Mr. Possum. Just to set matters somewhat straight. And you don’t have 35 baby-kats you have 9 and a few of those baby-kats bear a striking resemblance to yours truly.
Momma Kat: MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
(translation) Oh please, Lord help me. Oh yeah! You lay on your side for 2 hours and let these baby-kats climb all over you as they bite and sharpen their baby claws on your back and see if it doesn’t seem like 35. Flattery will get you nowhere with me and you know that. If it did help, you would be helping me herd these baby-kats, but as we all know you are all show and no dough.
Other Kat: meoooooow.
(translation) Now that smarts. You know if you say that too loud the other Kats are going to hear you and I’ll have to do something really cool to recover.
Momma Kat: MEOW meowwwmeowww
(translation) For real. The last time any Kats in your family did something really cool Kats were running from Tyrannosaurus Rex!
Other Kat: MEOW MEOWMEOW.
(translation) You just had to go all prehistoric on me. For the record, TRex never caught any Kats, their arms are too short to grab us.
Momma Kat: MEOW?
(translation) What do you have planned today so I’ll know where not to go?
Other Kat: MEOWMEOW.
(translation) Double ouch. That hurts worse than being scratched by that slobbering dog that lives in that blue house.
Momma Kat: MEOW!!!
(translation) That slobbering dog is going to be the least of your problems if you don’t leave me alone this morning so that I can deal with my baby-kats. I need you to run along now and play with that slobbering dog or that big fat possum because you have gotten on my very last Kat nerve.
The Other Kat did eventually leave as Momma began her tireless efforts to lick all 9 of us until we were basically hairless.
Do not try this at home. Chances are you will not translate accurately and that can and has proven to be unfortunate for Kats and people.
Make sure to stop by and say hello!